Update

Wow it appears I haven't written anything on my blog since February 14 Valentine's Day when I signed up for 2 months at Youfit. Upon returning home there was a nice bouquet of  flowers waiting for me and some chocolate from Steve. It was so nice to receive some flowers and to be thought about.  I just wish he would commit more by moving down here to be with me.  OH well onto what I have been doing - exercise wise..
 Gary and I  set up a 4 day routine.  1 day back, next time chest, next legs and last arms. We had slowly been progressing and getting me use to getting on and off the equipment and building up the weights and repetions. He has me start each routine by doing a walk with him. Then we start the routine for that day. I wrote down some significant days on my blog.
March 4th as we were walking I asked Gary if I could try to get on the  elliptical to see if I could do it. It was a weird feeling but I was able to get my feet high enough to step on it and  was able to do it for a short minute. What a wonderful feeling.  He said he would work that into my routine. 

March 11 was on elliptical for 3 minutes in addition to walking and other leg exercises.

March 20th Elliptical 3 minutes and 30 seconds in addition to other leg exercises involving strength training. We did something today we hadn't done since Valentine's Day. Gary had me  stand up with the ball again. OH MY GOSH!!  I stood up 20 times with the 3kg  ball in my hands and Gary didn't have to help me at all like last time when he had to pull me up by the back of my pants. He than gave me the 2kg ball and I stood up 10 more times.  What a victory to be able to stand up on my own without any help. Each time we do the legs Gary is going to have me do this exercise.  

 April 4th I said in December I wanted two things.  Do you remember what they were. Yep a private coach and a tricycle.  Well today I  got my new  tricycle and went .44 of a mile. Hardest part was getting on it. Had to use the stepper and my two canes but I did it. Here is a picture of my new wheels.

April 7th got on my tricycle and went .88 of a mile I double what I did the first day. If I go South and half way around it is  .32 of a mile. If I go north and halfway around  it is .31 of a mile. So if I go all the way around it is .63 of a mile, In order to get 1.22 mile I need to go all the way around 2 times.  That is the goal I will build up to as now I am able to go around 1 1/2 times.

April 8th OMGosh what knee pain I had today when doing exercise I think I did too much biking on Sunday.  I was really struggling to get the leg exercise done at Youfit. Gary had to even help me with the standing up with the ball which I had been doing on my own. It felt lousy to have to have the help today. In fact Gary said let's not do the elliptical until Wednesday as he could see how much pain I was in and that it was an off day. He thinks I did too much biking on Sunday too, So on the weekends I think I will just do one bike ride of a lap north and south which will give me .63 of a mile.

April 10th Today after the walk, I did 4 minutes on the ellipitcal. I think what helped was that Mike was talking to me about my posture improving but that I should get better shoes with more support and orthothic in them. That talking was for about 2 minutes and 40 seconds which helped me take my mind off of the back pain. Around 3:30 the pain kicked in and I lasted another 30 seconds to get to 4:00 HURRAY!! During the  arm pushs and pulls (wish I knew the true name of those exercises) Gary had me stand during the exercise and sit down in between the  6 sets that I did. He had me do the additional arms strength training routine.  I worked up a really good sweat. He was happy to see that as it doesn't happen to often. He did say that the standing probably brought the sweat on as he knows how difficult that task is for me.
 I really am exhausted today but it feels great. I just wish the weight would come off faster.  I am really not sure why it isn't. I was hoping I would have lost more than  30 pounds in almost 4 1/2 months.
Oh well if anyone is reading my blog Thanks for doing so. Please let me know you are by leaving a comment.  You stay Healthy and Happy until next time. 

More private workouts! I Am Worth It!

Hi Everyone
Yesterday ended my 4 private sessions. Boy what a workout Gary gave me. He had me working on my legs which is the weakest part of my body. He had me doing things that were intense to me and was causing a great deal of difficulty. One piece of equipment I couldn't even get my legs into the postion that was needed. I had to remind him I had only half of a right hip bone. So we moved onto another piece of equipment that caused me pain on my shin bones. He moved the bar down twice but it still came up and hurt my shin bones. I told him I didn't like that one but he said I needed it and had to get use to it.
We moved onto several other pieces and I did ok until we got to that darn aerobic stepper.  I have worked with one before and was only able to step on the 4 inch high platform. Gary added the two risers which made it 8 inches high and I told him no way,  I can't do that. He got a bit mad at me and told me if I talk  like that I will not be able to do it. I told him I can't pick up my right foot more than 4 inches, he took away one of the raisers making it 6 inches off the ground. He said do it and when I went to it to try he could see that I physically could not. So he took off that riser so it was only 4 inches off the ground. I was pissed and stomped on that thing with the help of my hands on the wall in front.  I don't know for how long I did it but I don't feel it was any longer than a minute.  When I started to slow down he said 30 more seconds and counted down every 5 seconds.
After that he had me do the impossible. I had to sit on this bench with a ball in my hands and get up off the bench put the ball above my head and bring it back down and sit down again.  I have seen this on Biggest Loser and wished I could do it. How is that possible when you have 2 herniated and one bulging disc and you have to hold onto something to pull yourself up.  I gave Gary a smart ass reply like what do you think I am Wonderwomen. He said sit down here and do it.  I told him I can't get down that low raise up the seat. He did raise it up.  He handed me the ball and my hands collapsed to my lap so he got another ball.  Stand up he says. Yea right I said I was trying he could see this was impossible for me to do so he got behind the bench and helped pull me up all 356 pounds of me. What a strong guy he is. Anyhow  between the aerobic stepper and this impossible task I started to feel wetness on my face, which was a combination of sweat and tears. I couldn't do a single one on my own and he helped with all 5 of them. I was done for the day and the manager wanted to talk with me. I knew what it was about as this was my last private session.
I really need to get my health back, walk again and enjoy life doing the things I use to do so I paid for 24 more private sessions.  I AM WORTH IT!!!

Until next time Stay Happy and Healthy

Met YOUFIT Coach Gary twice now

Hi All
Well I said I wanted a personal fitness coah and I finally did it. I started with Coach Gary on Monday Feb 4th as last week I had an eye infection and we both thought it best not to go tot he gym with an eye infection.  Monday  Gary gave me a new diet to follow. I am not too keen on that diet as it seems to be considerable less than what MFP seems to think I should be eating. For example nothing to eat after dinner. Yet he says I should eat every 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Seems to me that if I finish my dinner at about 8:00 ( which I know is late but I get up late -around 9 am each day) I should have something at about 10:30 or so. Well the first two night I didn't but last night I did. I charted everything I ate and you can see on Monday I didn't have all the foods I needed but my Tuesday I did. The last three days I was below my 1,900 calorie by 605 to 1,097 calories. It seems to me that this is starvation mode and I do not know how long I will last at these lower calories.

As for the exercise there was none on Monday as he spent the whole 1/2 hour discussing what I should and shouldn't eat and when I should and shouldn't eat it.  Despite the fact that I informed him I have been following a 1,900 calorie program and lost 22 pounds in 4 weeks he still wanted me to follow HIS Gary's plan for 2 weeks. Wednesday we finally got down to doing some exercise.  I do not know the names of the equipment as he had me throughout the entire gym on 6 different pieces of equipment.  All of them Gary said were for my back and involved pulling weights. All were of cause sitting down and one we had to modify as I could't do it the way he wanted.  He seemed happy that I could do as much as I did.  I guess he was thinking I was much more out of shape than I really am.  I told him over the last 10 years I have  had memberships at Inches A Weigh, Butterfly Life,  both of them closed down. Plus up until June of 2012 had been doing Curves.    Well anyhow once I got back home, the rest of the day I was exhausted and my upper back was hurting.   I literally did nothing but sit in my recliner with the heat and vibration on and fell asleep until the guys came to deliver the new stove.  After dinner I watched Tv in my recliner with the heat and vibrator on again until I went to bed at 11:00 pm as I couldn't keep my eyes opened any more.
Today Thursday I am to go back to Gary and he said we would work on my chest area.  All the exercises today were for the chest area.    One of them was very difficult as I had to push over my  head and that is something I always have had difficulty with due to the frozen left shoulder.  He had to help me with the first 20. After that I was able to do the set of 15 and 10 on my own.  One piece of equipment I couldn't get on even with Gary holding my hands.  The bench was just  too low and there was no way to raise it up.  But Gary is like me, if it doesn't work you find a way to do the same thing but modify it.  So he did come up with the alternative and it did the same movements he wanted. I think Gary was impressed with what I did as he kept saying I did a good job.  Mike another guy that works there at the desk has come up to me both days to give me encouragement. He is a rather large guy himself but I am sure he has lost weight as well. I thought it was a nice gesture  and very much appreciated. I go back again on Monday. Gary said that would be a cardio day. Not sure what that means but I will find out soon.  Until next time I write
Stay Warm, Healthy and Happy!!
 

YOU FIT here I come ready or not

Hi All
Today I had a Dr Appt with a new Dr. because I changed insurance companies.  Dr Anderson seemed nice and spent a lot of time with me.  She gave me medical clearance so I  can have my bad tooth pulled and a replacement made.  Not sure yet what my choices will be but know I do not want to be toothless.
On the way home I stopped off at You Fit as the Dr kept   stating I needed more exercise than just  the little bit of walking I am able to do. At You Fit the majority of the equipment is sit down exercises.  Some of them I can't do as the seat do not adjust up and down.  Others I do not have the strength now to do.  I will be able to attend free through the insurance company. Wednesday I will meet with a coach and together we will determine what I can do.  Am looking forward to see how many different pieces I can do.
Not much else is new.  Stay warm, happy and healthy, 

Day 26 14 pounds gone

As the title says today is day 26 and I have lost 14 pounds so far.  I decided that keeping track of the WW points plus the calories was driving me crazy so I switched to just doing the calories. It seemed that the 1,900 calories MFP said I should eat seemed to be around  43 points.  It is much less stressful to me doing just the tracking of what I eat on MFP. 
I started back walking again today and was able to get to the 3rd house to the North of me. I did have to stop and sit down on the rollator on the way back but only for a minute or two. Monday Jan 14th was the last day I had walked for about 12 days as I was not home at 5 -5:30 Pm on the days I usually walk.  I have to go at that time as it is when the sun is going down, not too many people are in the subdivision walking and the bugs haven't come out yet.
I have been trying to make friends with those who are like me but it seems difficult. Why that is I am not sure. However I hope that is going to change soon as I did find a group of people who want to lose 200 pounds or more so I am sure they can understand what I go through and will be there for the support encouragement and motivation.  A few others have been there for me as well from the BL2 challenge which is great.  The more support and encouragement I can get the easier I think this will be for me as I do not have a support system here at home.
Stress level is down a bit as I finally got my van back Monday after having been without it for 5 months due to repairs. The house is still in disarray with the repairs being made but the outside is really starting to look good.
I took some time to post on my MFP profile my before picture of me at 497 and the latest one taken at Christmas time at 378. I plan to take another one when I get below 350 but I doubt there will be much of a change. 
Once the inside of the house repairs slow down I do plan to get back into doing my beading which will keep my hands busy and away from my mouth.   A fellow beader told me about a new site called crafts cafe and it seems cheaper than Etsy. I hope to be able to figure it out and put up a few items to sell.
Well for those friends reading this I hope you are all doing well. If you can, please leave me
Stay warm, happy  and healthy.

NEW ME IN 2014

HI All 
The title on this post is also the title on myfitnesspal profile post.  I had joined MFP in 2012 and had posted there a few times in 2012 but by March stopped the WW program and stopped posting.  In December 2012 I once again decided come The New Year I would try again. So here is what I decided for now. 
After much research of food plans, exercise plans, reward plans and looking into my financial budget I decided on what I will do.  I wish to explain most of it here as the profile seems to be getting bigger and bigger and many may not be interested in reading all that I wrote over there.  If you entered in my blog I know that you are interested in knowing more about me, my plans and my journey.

FOOD PLAN:  Will follow the AT HOME WW points plus program with a modification.  I was on this plan back in 2009 and they gave me 52 points. Back than it was way too high a caloric count as in 16 weeks I only lost 15 pounds.  I lowered my points down to 38 and lost 11 pounds the first week I did it. I did this for 2 more weeks and lost an additional  7 pounds fro 20 pounds lost in 3 weeks.  I was so happy until they told me I had to either bring my points back up or leave. I walked out the door. I keep going for a few more weeks on my own don't even remember how much I lost but gained it back plus more.
So this year here is my plan:    WW points 43 to 50 -eat the foods that I want to  eat (good foods not so much junk) but stay within that range. I made this a range with the extra 49 points per week. So instead of trying to eat 43 points each day and than have 49 points left to use after weigh in,  I decided to spread it out among the 7 days. I will still be banking any points I do not use past the 43 for that day. So some days maybe will be 43  other may be 46 or more.   I think this fits in better with the MFP philosophy of having spike days and not the same caloric intake each day. My points will be posted in the section on the diary called Today's Food Notes. 

EXERCISE PLAN: Five out of seven days walk with the rollator. Started on Jan 2 and walked one house to the North. Next day one house to the South. Each week I plan to walk to the next North or  South of the one I had just finished walking to the previous week. There are 16 houses to the North of me. Not sure how many to the South of me.  By 16 weeks I should be able to make it to the end of the block going North which is where the entrance gate is located. Have no idea where I will be heading South in 16 weeks  but it will be fun to find out.  I didn't see a listing for walking with a rollator so I am using the walking with crutches.  Right now the walk to the next door neighbors house takes me 15 minutes due to the disability I have. It is a miracle I am getting one foot in front of the other, yet to be doing this for 15 minutes.  By the time I am done I am so out of breath you would have thought I ran a marathon. As for the pain level it is through the roof.   I so badly want to sit down on the rollator seat but I push myself not to do that until I walked through the front door. I am sure as the weeks go on this will be much easier. What I would really like to do is get myself a personal coach someplace and also get a tricycle. We will see if this is the year I am able to do so.

Not much else until next time.  Stay Warm, Happy and Healthy.

2012 was a bust

As you can see I haven't posted anything since February of 2011 and since this is end of 2012 and aNew Year is almost starting I decided to post again. Well that was the case until tonight   I some how deleted what I had previously posted in 2012. So I will try to do some memory recall here.  Keep in mind my short term memory is not what it use to be. 

In January I  did  start the 1880 calorie plan and  Curves for awhile.   I got my 20 pound reward which was to go to a conference in April that I had wanted to attend. I also meet someone in March and by April he flaked out after 3 dates and never contacted me again. After April I also flaked out on my new food and exercise program and blew the rest of the year.

In June M and I decided to look for a Condo to share and we did find one but when the inspection took place there was over and additional $5,000 in repairs so we broke the contract.  I had already begun to  put things in storage so I just kept on going. I also tried to sell things on Ebay and Craigslist .

 In Aug I took in a roommate who would have been homeless as Donna ( a friend) had passed away and her kids were booting him out of the condo he had shared with her for the past 5 years. I needed the help as it was getting more and more difficult for me to get things done around here and grocery shop as well. Anyhow we tried to have a yard sale but it was a bust and almost everything went to Good Will. The roommate G still has no full time job but he is managing to do some part time work for a MS friend and people in the community where I live.  In Aug I did manage to get him to get food stamps so he is helping to pay for groceries which is great as after Aug my health took a turn for the worse. He has to renew the food stamps soon and hopefully get a full time job as money is very tight.

While at work one Tuesday in late Aug I twisted the wrong way while trying to sit because there was a magnifying floor to ceiling lamp behind my chair and I couldn't get the chair back all the way. I dislocated my knee and in less than 2 hours I couldn't get up off the typing chair.  The ambulance was called and they got me up on my feet while trying to get on the stretcher I think the knee cap when back in. But they took me to the hospital anyhow.  Now I have to pay over $250.00 for that trip to the ER.

In Oct I had a cat scan done as I have a lump around my bellybutton which the Dr and I believe is a hernia. The results of that scan did reveal a hernia plus gallstones and a lump on my right lower lung lope. That scan cost me $95.00. Right after that test my van died again. This time it is the body control modula which controls the Electronic Control Modula which controls the speed, gas, and other instrument cluster panels gadgets. So I have been without a van and still. It has been 32 months.  Greg has been taking me to and from work and grocery shopping and for the Dr appt and test. After the cat scan I had to go to a Pet scan in Nov to see if the lump was cancerous. Thank God it is benign and only 1 Cm big. I do have to go every 3 months for the next 2 years to make sure it doesn't grow anymore or become cancerous. Because of this I switched to a different medical plan which will reduce the cost of my co-pays.  I will see the new Dr in Jan.

So this brings me to 12-31-12  A New Year will soon be here 2013. The number 13 is usually associated with being an unlucky number but for some strange reason I feel it will be a good year for me.  I will be celebrating my 57th Birthday in about 6 weeks and would really like to see my 60th Birthday. So with the New Year 2013 coming  I will once again attempt to get this weight off of me once and for all. Last time I weighed (the day of the Pet scan  in November) I was 366.  This past weekend I  joined 6 groups and 2 challenges on  Myfitnesspal so by this time next year I  plan  to have lost at least 104 or more pounds, be much healthier and maybe even able to walk without the walker and canes.   I will be weighing in on  Jan 2nd for the start day of the 50 day challenge and again on Jan 5th for the start day of the BL challenge. I will be following WW again but on my own at home. No more classes for me. I will be keeping track of my points and tracking on the daily log.  For my Birthday I plan to buy this charm bracelet  
 http://www.walmart.com/ip/Connections-from-Hallmark-Stainless-Steel-Celebrate-Life-Starter-Bracelet-7.25/17772225  and for every 25 pounds I lose I will add a charm that will reflect changes or significant accomplishments  in my life as I take this weight loss journey,  I hope my friends on facebook and myfitnesspal will be following my progress and commenting. Your support and motivation will help me during the rough and tough days that I am sure to face. 


Thanks for reading this posting.
 Stay Happy and Healthy

2 weeks 6 down

It has been about 2 weeks since I last wrote and I tried to follow the WW plan at home and yesterday I weighed. I am 6 pounds down. It is a start and one I hope to be able to continue. I think I may have found a message board that seems to fit me. The WW board 200 pounds to lose has a thread entitled Ladies over 50 with 300 pounds. It seems like a friendly group and I am trying to make friends over there with a new people and some of the old timers who have been around for awhile and have lost a considerable amount of weight. I am trying to learn my way around the site as well so I can use it to my full advantage. I have started to track the food I am eating both on the site and on paper. I still can't believe I can eat 1 cup of madarin oranges and with the new program it is 0 points. That just doesn't make any sense to me. So on the paper I am recording it as 2 points which is what it use to be. So if anyone is following this blog still- Have a happy and healthy week

New Year 2011

Well this was another do nothing about it (weightloss) year. I am still 394 believe it or not, the same weight that I was in Sept after the Seaworld trip. I went to M's party with R as I thought it was time to see if maybe he and I could connect back up and be a couple. We spent the weekend (my expense) at the Desert Inn and it was not what I was hoping it would be. The oceanfront view was fantastic but the company was not. He did nothing about complain about his debts, the deaths of his 2 wives, the hours he has worked and the fact that he is so lonely. I felt more sorry for him than anything else. He was extremely helpful to me which I was very grateful for and thanked him numerous times, but not once did he thank me for the $300.00+ weekend. I really thought that was so wrong of him not to thank me. Enough about him as it is not going to work between us, just as I kind of thought was the case before I even invited him to spend the time with me. However I had to see it to believe it. You all know me IBIWISI.
Anyhow M's was great. Lot's of games, fun, food and prizes. Lot's of work too as the day before we baked cookies and the day of the party we set up and tore down. Thank Goodness for R as he really did a lot of work. So much more than the other 2 that were with M for the week.

After the party 2 weeks later I had to re-turn for a work related 3 day conference. It was great to meet some old timers and new comers and learn so much great info and see the vendors. Unfortunately Thursday's lunch was not good and I was sick all that night and the next day. I was so glad when I got to leave at noon to head home to be in my own bed. That 4 hour trip home just about did me in. I was exhausted the whole weekend. But I did get over half the education points I needed for the next certification for 2015.

Nov J came over for a Boston Market Thanksgiving dinner with me and some DVD watching later that night. It was nice not to be alone. For Christmas Eve I had a party with 9 people here. Being alone for the Holiday would have been the pits for me. We had good friendship, good fun with the games and prizes and great food. The party started around 1 pm and the last one J to leave left at 8:30. I very long day for me as I had no S to help me. J also came over NEw Year's Eve and we had chicken bites and spinach dip with vegs and bread and Ice cream for dessert. Saw in the New Year with a bottle of wine and by 1 or so she was gone. She fell asleep during the movie so I got to see and hear most of it.

So now it is Jan 2 2011, I am once again seriously thinking of getting on some kind of diet plan as I can't keep getting bigger and bigger. I feel the difference from when I was 306 in 2007 and the extra 88 pounds I have packed back on in 3 years. I can't believe I was ever 497, Thank God I managed to keep off the other 103 pounds. Hard for me to believe I lost 191 pounds and was still so fat I couldn't wear less than a 5X.

Ok so realistic goals is what I set today. Toward the end of March I am suppose to meet DW from WDC.

First goal 25 pounds off
Second goal 10% off 39 off
Third goal 50 pounds off
Fourth goal 75 pounds off
Fifth goal 100 pounds off 292 for Christmas 2011

So after talking with M she stated she was going to try Atkins and we talked about it and I looked at the list of what you can and can not eat. I will support her but I know I can not follow such a rigid program. I am going to try WW again. They changed their program again this year and certain fruits and veg are free. I can have all the carbs I want (unlike M) and just count it toward the points. I think I will do a weekly menu and keep daily track on the online tracker.

Sept 2010 - back from Seaworld 392

Well so much for getting on track and losing weight this year. As you can see I haven't posted since last year. I did go to the exercise place but the program was no good for a few reasons.
Number One the place was 45 minutes from home.
Second the pool had no ramp.
Three the circuit was so packed tight with equipment I would never have been able to get to anything. With that disappointment I never went to WW.
Eight months later on Sept 11th I weigh in at 392. I will not let myself go over that 400 mark. I am going back on WW. It has always worked for me to lose weight but I never got to maintenance.
I just got back from a lovely 3 days in Orlando with Mimi. We went to Wonder works Wednesday. Sea world Thursday and stayed for the Luau and Friday morning after another breakfast buffet I headed home.
She invited me to her Halloween party and I plan to attend. That is 6 weeks away and I intend to be at least 370 even less if possible. So now I need to get my ass off this computer, get something to eat because it is almost noon and I haven't eaten a thing yet and get myself to the store.
Here are my current goals and rewards
First weight loss goal 370 a little over 5% removal= Halloween weekend in Oct 29=Nov 1
Second weight loss goal 350 a little over 10% weight removal=new earring and necklace set
Third weight loss goal 294 25% weight removal=$100.00 worth of new clothing

For those reading my blog stay healthy and happy!

A New Year is on the way- 2010

Three more days to go before a New Year starts and where am a I.
1. N0 longer a wife and haven't been since Feb 2005
2. No longer a daughter - Dad passed away on Nov 1, 2009 and Mom had passed away in Oct 2005
3. Still single
4. Still teaching- part time
5. Still fat
6. Still on the electric mobility device
7. Still living in the double wide mobile home.

What do I want
1. To be married
2. To be thin & healthy
3. To be off the mobility device
4. To have more friends
5. To do more beading activities

How am I going to achieve these goals
1. To be on a lot of dating sites
2. To start WW and exercise
3. To use the walker and canes more
4. To join some meet up groups
5. To begin beading candle holders.

I'll write more once I check into the WW meetings and the exercise program. Have the WW meeting scheduled for Jan 1st and the exercise program interview scheduled for Jan 6th.
Stay Happy and Healthy

Oct 19 down 5 lbs from last month

Hi All
Well I did get both the Sensa and the Miracleburn. I weighed in on Sept 28th (the day after I got back from my Daytona trip) at 397-OMG so close to 400 and I said never again would I cross that line and I meant it. So I started to sprinkle the Sensa on my food. That first week I sprinkled it on everything I ate. I could smell the stuff but didn't taste a thing. It seems like it helped me not eat as much as I normally would eat. The first week I weighed in 15 pounds lighter. The next day I weighed again as I couldn't believe 15 pounds gone in 1 week. I have never lost that much weight in one week. The most was 13 on the Nutrisystem program. Well it was true, 15 pounds gone. However I forgot to turn off the scale and when I noticed I hadn't turned it off the 3rd place 8 was blinking and blinking and would not stop no matter what I did to it. So I guess it was broken and the next day I ordered a replacement. The replacement arrived today Oct 19th and I managed to stay the same weight. I tried to continue to use the Sensa during the last 2 weeks but I didn't put it on everything and I did have a few bad food choice days. How I managed to stay at 382 is beyond me. But I am very happy I did. I also joined 2 forums over at the Sensa message board. The 100+ club over there is having a challenge so I asked about it and hopefully I will be able to join it which will help keep me accountable.

This past June I went to an Orlando BBW bash weighing 368. So I guess my first goal is to get back to that weight. So that is another 14 pounds to lose. Once there I will look at the next mini goal. One goal at a time. My long term goal is: I would like to go back to the Orlando bash in June 2010 weighing below 300 pounds.
So until next time stay healthy and happy

2 months later 13 pounds heavier

Needless to say I have not done anything in the last 2 months but eat. I just can't seem to getmotivated to do anything, no diet, no exercise and even believe or not no crafts. I don't really understand what is getting me so down. I do know that this month is a difficult one for me. As this is the month in 2005 I lost my step brother and my mother and it is my father's birthday. That birthday should be a happy event but he is in Nc with Alzheimer's Disease and even if I were to call him (passed on past calls) he would have no idea who I am or what I am talking about. So I guess I will wish him here Happy Birthday Dad I Love You.

As for me, well there is a man in my life (sort of) but with his crazy schedule and life in South Florida I hardly get to see him. I am lucky if he comes around once a week. We have fun and then he is gone. Thank God for Instant Message as we do keep in contact on a more regular basis usually in the evenings.

As for the weight loss I did order 2 things of which I am hoping and praying one of them works. I ordered but have not received Sensa and Miracleburn. I did try this Monday to get back on WW but on the third day I screwed up. I suppose some of it was because I don't have my scooter (waiting for a brake part) so I can't shop for things I need. I am trying to do the best I can with what I have here in the house.

Till next time stay happy and healthy

Mid July 2009 update

Well the MF Way lasted less than 2 days. OMG that stuff is so horrible I couldn't stand it. My intentions were great but there is no way I could eat or rather drink that stuff. I threw it away. I am not doing the NS Way either, so I changed my title to ssflbelle weight loss journey.

As it turns out the online guy came back the first week of 2009 as he couldn't take working at the homeless shelter any more. Needless to say by the time he left in May 2009 I had gained another 18 pounds.

As far as work The Lighthouse finally called me back and I started working for them in May 2009 while also working for FOCB for the last 2 weeks as I gave notice. So for 2 weeks I worked 2 jobs and boy oh boy did my legs object to that as I developed Lymphedema again. CRAP!!!

I also went back on WW in May and in 6 weeks I managed to lose 15 pounds. As for the Lymphedema I couldn't be seen for treatments until June 21st which worked out ok. I had a BBW bash in Orlando I was scheduled to go to and I didn't want to cancel it. I also wanted to go to meet the Orlando friend I had been communicate with on line for over a month. We meet and I do like him but who knows what the future holds. I say this because the On line guy came back in June 2009 as he couldn't take it at the Grand Canyon. He is leaving again on July 20th and I am once again going back on WW. I am 375 and have entered a 3 fat chick summer challenge for 10 weeks. I have a mini goal of 25 pounds. In addition to tracking my points I plan to start to do some chair and very quick standing exercises here at the house. I do have the tapes (yes I said tapes. I know I am so far behind the times.) from Richard Simmons and a few others. So come Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will do the more strenuous ones and the other 4 days I will do the simpler ones.

I am hoping and praying this is the last time for the online guy and my weight loss. I want more in my life than just a friend, which is all that he is. I want to be able to get back down to 318 by the end of the year. So starting today I have to buckle down and stop letting food rule me! Till next week Stay Happy and Healthy.

Here I go again

Well the rest of 2008 was a bust as far as weight loss was concerned. As it turns out I was denied WLS and the Appeal was also denied. Doesn't make sense to me that they would deny someone who weighs as much as I do and has all these complications WLS but they did. So if they want to keep paying the cost of all these other complications for the next year while I try and get my weight down on my own let them.

As of Jan 4th I started a new challenge with the 3 fat chicks even though I will not be receiving my MF food until Monday. Hey I guess I need to change my title to THE MF Weigh. So the horrible results is that this Sunday I weigh in at 365 pounds. That is a 59 pound gain this year as I went off of NS and had 4 back procedures done which prevented me from exercising. This new MF progam states 20 pounds a month which means this extra weight I put on this past year should be gone in 3 months, hopefully. Than I can start working on the rest of the weight to get to 200 pounds. Depending on how I feel at that weight I might try to get to my normal goal of 150. I hope to post weekly so the 3 fat chicks and anyone else still following my progress might be inspired to lose weight and get healthier in 2009

Dr. Larson not the one for me!

Hi All
Well it took over 2 weeks for Dr. Larson's office to notify me that I can't have the surgery through this Dr as JFK is not a Center of Excellence and will not be one until maybe some time in the Fall. Screw that! So I got back on line and after a whole day of searching for Doctors on my plan and Hospitals that are Centers of Excellence, I finally found one in Hollywood Fl an hours drive South of here.

I filled out the on line 9 page profile on a Sunday and was contacted on a Tuesday and was to attend a seminar on that Thursday. I started down to Hollywood but got as far as Boca Raton and had to get off I-95 to get gas and as soon as I did I had Van trouble and was too afraid to go the rest of the way. I am wheelchair bound and what if I got stranded down there all alone. So I turned around and head back home. I called Nick (my mechanic) and he finally came on Sunday to fix the van. Over $850 the fuel pump was the problem as he thinks the gas station I stopped at had ethanol in their gas and my pump was not able to take that kind of stuff.
Well I emailed Tiffany and told her what happened and she told Cindy and they sent me some on line videos to view and when I was done with them I would be able to make my appt to see the Dr.

In the mean time I did get to the spine Dr. A. and he informed me I had too many problems and he could only take care of one of them at a time. Which was the most painful and which did I want him to focus on. I told him my back pain and he was surprised to hear this as he thought the hip was worse off than the back. He told me my hip has necrosis ( basically is dead) and that I would need hip replacement but that no Dr would touch me at this weight (even though I have lost 140 pounds it is not enough) and had I thought about WLS. Gee I told him that very night I had a seminar to go to about Lapband. Well as we all know I never made it there. Anyhow I few days later I phone him and told him I needed him to say it was medically necessary that I have the lapband and he sent something to DR. B. Dr B emailed me that it was not the right thing and sent a sample letter. I will be seeing the Dr. A. on Tuesday and the PCP Dr. R on Thursday so hopefully they will be able to write the letters at that time.
The blood work up came back and Dr. R seem pleasantly surprised that I had no diabetes, no thyroid problems and everything looked good except for my cholestrol which was 135 just borderline. He stated it was not necessary to be on any meds, just watch what I eat and do what ever exercise I can do. He would see me on Thursday for the elevated HPB and we can write the letter at that time for the lapband surgery.

So things are progressing with my health, now if only they would progress with my work. I just wish the Lighthouse would get there center based program going and than I would be all set in the new job and happy. This FOCB job is really driving me nuts, especially having to redo other teacher's monthly reports because they don't know how to do them. Than I am told by one of them that DBS has issues with the reports and he sends me an updated version (which IMHO doesn't look any different). Hey DBS I also have clients and reports I have to do! So what are these issue you have with the reports, how about telling me too DUH!!!!!! I sent an email as it is after hours, Gee you think I will get a reply tonight? I think not!

Still Waiting

Hi all
It has now been 8 business days and I am still waiting to hear from Dr. Larsen's office about the insurance approval. ON Thursday the 15th N. called to ask a few more questions which I thought I had previously answered but I guess she didn't write down the answers. I called on the 22nd and N stated hey hadn't heard anything back from the insurance yet and that she would call as soon as they do.
In the mean time I did go for the MRI of my back and the Xrays of my right hip and left shoulder. Also went for the blood, urine and stool workup. I have heard from Dr. R about the MRI and Xrays. I knew I had spinal stenosis and osteoarthritis of the right hip so that info was not new. What was new is that I have 3 bulging discs in the L3-4, L4-5 and the S1 areas of my back, thus explains the excruciating pain I have been in for the last 13 years at least. As far as the shoulder I have osteoarthritis in that as well. Stupid Dr I had gone to in 2005 told me "Oh don't worry about it,it is just a fatty deposit it will go down. Yea well it went down and even afte PT I still can not get my hand behind my back. THANKS DR! Dr. R asked what previous treatments I had to treat these problems and whenI told him 3 epidural 6 months of prolotherpahy shots, PT for months on my back , hip and shoulder and none of it worked he wanted to refer me to a physiatry. I wanted laproscopic back surgery on the bulging discs but he wouldn't refer me. So now I am waiting for a referral to a physiatry and hopefully he will refer me for the back surgery.

I just wish this was all over with and I was living a normal life doing the things I use to enjoy so much. I HATE LIVING LIKE THIS!

As far as my love life well MW never showed! Gee I knew it, it was too good to be true! He Imed while I was at the MRI and when I came home I read "sorry but I have to take my daughter out of the state to a Dr will not be back until May 26th." I haven't heard form him since. He was suppose to be on a bus on his way to me on the 21st. The story of my love life. I guess no one wants to be with a crippled!!!!!!

I am still here!

No I didn’t fall off the planet, just fell of the program. I know it has been over 17 months since I last posted. If anyone had been reading this blog from my NS or my Happy and Healthy group or maybe my new LB friends have just started reading, I suppose I need to catch you all up on what has happened during the past 17 months.
Well I did get to the Dr appt in Dec 2006 and I was so pissed when I left as he said not one word about my weight loss. How could he have not noticed a loss of 88 pounds is beyond me. When I went back to BL the ladies there exercising with me said that I should change to a different Dr. I never did as I am still with that same However in March of 2007 he did notice I had lost weight when I finally got down to 306 pounds. He said at that time he noticed it before but forgot to say anything to me. A loss of 96 pounds since January 2006, but a total weight loss of 181 pounds since 2004.

* From March 2007 until Nov 2007 I continued with NS but only ordered 5 times as I started eating regular foods for some meals. The reason for regular food was that I had met a man D.P. and he and I were seeing each other every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I was finally able to save some money and bought 4 brand new appliances. With my BF’s help I was able to afford to buy the supplies and he supplied the free labor to get my house back in shape from the hurricanes of 2005. The previous volunteers were limited in what they could do so there was still plenty of walls that needed to be fixed. On those 3 days I would prepare and serve regular foods but tried to follow the NS plan as much as possible. I did continued to exercise at BL but not as much during the summer as I had in previous months. I was getting plenty of exercise stripping the torn wall paper, repairing the walls and repainting them in my Living Room, Kitchen and Bedroom, of course my BF helped. Had it not been for him, it probably still would not be done. During this time, I didn’t lose any more weight, but was able to maintain between 306 and 318 for those 9 months. About 3 months into the repairs, my BF and I realized our relationship was just going to be one of a good friendship but nothing more. So we both began looking again, but stayed friends and continued on with the repairs. In June I was chatting with a man on line and we really hit it off.

*In Nov 2007, the man I had met on line came to live with me . He had lost his job as a Director of a homeless shelter and since the Director was required to live at the shelter he had no where to go. We thought it might be a good idea for him to come live with me. We thought he could help me out as well as work in a homeless shelter or as a chef down here. He moved in Dec 15, 2007; He moved out 4 months later as he couldn’t find any work down here. In fact he had worked only 7 days during the entire 4 months he was here. Why he couldn’t find a job done here as a Chef is beyond me as I had gained 30 pounds during those 4 months. He is a fantastic Chef and had applied to dozens of places but it was a homeless shelter in Jackson Hole Wy where he finally got a job as an assistant director. I think another major reason for the weight gain was that BL closed down in December and I could no longer work out 3 days a week like I had been .

* After J left in April of 2007, I wondered now that I am alone again what do I do about my weight. I proved to myself I can lose it but I can’t keep it off. As soon as I go off a program and start eating regular foods and don’t exercise I gain. During the 4 months I was gaining I was always hungry yet on NS I wasn’t. I really couldn’t afford NS any more and I knew that in May my disability Medicare would start. I have tried so many weight loss programs since I was 12 years old and never was able to keep the weight off. If only there was something that would tell my brain that I was full and didn’t need any more food. I had heard about the Lap Band Surgery in 2007 when that commercials with the tiger came on TV. Do you know the one I am speaking off? Well anyhow, I got a book from the Library and went on line and did some research for a few weeks until I had my May 8th visit with my PCP. During that visit we had discussed my health in detail as I hadn’t had any insurance since 2005 and the only tests I had done were X-rays in 2006 when I finally applied for disability. The Dr wanted me to go for an MRI on my lower back, X-rays of my right hip and left shoulder. He wanted me to go for an extensive blood and urine tests and I expressed an interest to him about the Lap Band Surgery. He gave me the Ok to contact Kenneth Larsen a Lap Band Surgeon.

*On May 13th I was finally able to talk with Patricia from Dr Larsen’s office. She took all my information and stated she would be contacting my Medicare advantage plan to see if they would cover the surgery. She stated she would get back to me in 2 to 3 days and we will take it from there. So here I sit, waiting to possibly begin a new chapter in my life with my weight loss. As for my love life well, M.W. continues to call, email and IM me but not as much as he did that first week. Some nights we chat for hours on end, finding out more and more about each other. We have discussed meeting during my long Memorial Day weekend. I would love the chance to get to meet him and find out if we are compatible. Perhaps in 9 more days I will know. I suppose I will write another post here when I hear that my insurance has approved my LB surgery.

Weeks 19 through 48 -an additional 30 pounds gone

Hi Everyone
Weeks 19 through 48 WOW! Where have I been for so long. I can't even remember when week 19 was without looking back at the calendar. Let's see from June 7th until Dec 26th what have I been doing with my life? But most important is how have I been doing with the NS program?
Well as you can see by the title I have lost another 30 pounds for a total of 88 pounds now. I can't believe I have lost that much weight and have stayed with this program for as long as I have with all that has been going on in my life. Since Jan 2006 when I started this program changes have occurred in my life in more areas then weight loss.

I have had a few trips and some dates and have been making better restaurant selections. I still tend to overeat when stress and loneliness sets in. Especially around the anniversary of my Mother's death and the month that I knew a close friend of 13 years was moving back home to Washington. Of course being all alone on the Holidays is a real bummer for me and I HATE IT! As a result of the weight loss I am physically feeling better and I have begun to get out a little bit and start enjoying my life. I know to some of you these activities don't seem like much but for me it is a start and as time goes on I hope to become even more active. Most of you probably care less about these activities but to me they are a milestone in my life and for that reason I am putting them to paper. Where do I start?

* In August I started working 13 hours a week for the F O C B as an Assistant to the Director and a Braille Instructor- Again Thank God!

* In August I meet So a fellow NS member and poster on the Jazzman message board. Russell and I went to Cocoa Beach to meet So and her friend. I drove the whole 2 hour trip up there and the 2 hours back. I am so pleased I was able to do this. It was only the second time since the divorce that I have taken a little trip. In April I had driven 1 1/2 hours to Port St Lucie to pick up my new electric mobility device and Scooter lift.

* In Aug I also had my Second and Third date since the divorce. J seemed like a nice man but he lives in Orlando and was down in Fort Lauderdale for a business trip. We had made plans to meet again but he kept cancelling every week, week after week. After about the 4th cancellation I just told him don't bother instant messaging any more because I know your "Just not into me." His loss!
However T on the other hand meet me this month also and we have developed a nice friendship. He too is an extremely busy man and we don't get together very often but he does try to call once every 2 weeks or so and we do get together once a month. I wish it were more often but understand his situation.

* Also in October I got to meet several NS people who live in Florida and came to the Sawgrass Mill Mall for a lunch at The Grand Lux and a day of shopping. It was so great to see them, share their sucess stories, talk about their lives and hopefully make some new friends. Making new friends is important to me as:

* In October I had to say good bye to my dear friend Russell (Lois's husband) who I have known for 13 years. After his wife passed away in April he decided he needed to return to his home state. He moved back to Washington to be with his Parents and Siblings.

* In November I had my 5th through 7th date all with the same man E . We went out to dinner twice and a movie (Happy Feet.) But once again I found a man who is extremely busy with work. He works 2 jobs and has very little time to do anything. He passes right by my street exit every Monday when he goes to visit his Mother but doesn't stop off to see me. I think I need to look for a retired man who will have the time to be with me. But then again I never have really liked older men as they always are talking about all their illnesses and can't seem to keep up with me in certain areas.

* Also in Novemeber I took a major step in transforming myself as I signed up for a years worth of exercises at B L . I am able to get into and out of the 10 pieces of equipment. We even figured out how to get me up on and off of the mini trampoline. You are suppose to be able to do the circuit twice within a 1/2 hour. However because of all my limitations it take me an hour to do the exercise and either S or K have to be there with me every step of the way. They make all the equipment seat height and weight lift changes for me. They also bring me my water bottle and take my canes from me and bring them back to me when I am ready to move to the next piece of equipment. I am so enjoying this exercising and know that it will benefit me and help to tone my body.

The ultimate goal is that this exercise will help to strengthen my joints so that I will be able to walk without surgery. I so miss not being able to walk and do the things I used to do. I know it is this inability to walk that is stopping me from doing so many great and wonderful things. I would love to be working full time, going to dance classes, bowling etc, These kinds of actiiites would allow me to meet new people and enjoy life. I know I have made great progress but dam it I am so tired of just existing. I WANT TO LIVE A FUN LIFE and not watch it pass me by.

Now it is December and this month I organized a get together for the Fort Lauderdale Divorce Support group as the organizer had the date and time but hadn't picked a location. I waited and waited but it didn't seem like he was going to, so I did. I was so wanting to make new friends that I decided that if someone doesn't follow through I'd pick up the pieces and complete the project. Well I did get to meet 2 new women who showed up for the dinner at Olive Garden, D and J . T meet us there about 1 1/2 hours late. I invited him as I wasn't sure if anyone would be there and I didn't want to travel down to Boca Raton and have a dinner all by myself. Once I got there I told him 2 other women had arrived and he didn't need to come after all. I guess he was interested in meeting others going through a divorce too so he came down.

I had my 8th and 9th date with F . A guy orginally from Peru, who I thought was very nice and helpful, handsome and polite. I saw him twice within 3 days and thought we really had something going on with each other. I left for my short trip to Daytona Beach to meet with a couple I had meet in another chat room. Had a lovely few days with them and also toured the Rehab Center for the Blind. The day after I got back I called F only to discover he was on the road traveling to Las Vegas to find work as he was not successful in doing so here during the short three weeks he was here. All I could think of when he told me was WHAT THE FUCK! Well it probably wouldn't have worked out any how as on the second day I saw some red flags and areas where we would have problems. I am really beginning to wonder if there is a man out there for me who can meet all of my requirements. Am I too picky?

Well I started this on Decemeber 23 and I am finishing it up on Dec 26th. This pretty much sums up weeks 19 through 48. Below are some pictures taken during this time period.

This first one was taken in August with SO.



This second one was in October when I met some of the other NS Ladies but not knowing if I have their permission to post their pictures I cropped them out.



This last one was taken Novemeber 30th at B l . It was the second day I was there and the first time I was on the mini trampoline. Of course my clothing is so huge you really can't see that I have lost weight.

Well folks that is it for now. I suppose the next time I will post will be when I have lost 100 pounds. Hopefully that will be before my Birthday. I do have a Doctor appointment December 27th. It is my first in over a year so I hope the Doctor will be pleased with my weight loss and my recovery form Lymphedema. Last year around this time I was getting physical theraphy for the swelling of my leg and my weight had climbed to 404. This past week I went on the short trip to Daytona and also went a bit aboard on Christmas evening and day with my foods. I was feeling sorry for myself because I was all alone so I ate foods I shouldn't have and I have gained some since last week. As of today Dec 26th I am 316. So that is really a lost of 88 pounds since last year and most of it was done with no exercise at all.

To all who have read and posted comments and offered support in the Yahoo and NS groups, Thank you so much you all helped me to achieve what I have so far today. Hope your New Year brings you all the things you wished for and Good Health and Happiness.

WEEKS 15 THROUGH 18 A QUARTER OF THE WAY TO GOAL -52 pounds

Hi Everyone

It has been awhile since I last posted. I am terrible at doing a weekly post but thought I would catch up on the weight loss and life story. As of week 18 I have lost 52 pounds. So now I am a quarter of the way to my goal. That's right I have over 200 pounds of weight I have to lose. I am beginning to see a change in my ability to do things and in my clothing. Here is a before picture of me at 402 pounds taken the week of Jan 29th 2006 when I started NS. The second one is a picture taken around April with 50 pounds gone. I can see the difference in face and my whole body. HURRAY!!!!!!