This is the year for me to get even more weight off. I can feel it in my heart and my body. I am focused on this plan and my work. No husband to bring food into the house he knew I shouldn’t eat. No husband to say I am an FA (fat admirer) your turning into skin and bones. Believe it or not he said that to me just before the divorce, while we were on vacation. I had spent the previous 5 months following WW and exercising at Inches a Weigh. I had lost over 50 pounds and got down to 447. Our marriage had been rocky for about 4 years and I thought this vacation and my new found ability to do things would perhaps mend it. Instead it made it worse as I came to find out it wasn’t me he loved it was my fat and now I was getting too thin for him. How can any body be too thin at 447 pounds? I saw the light as to what he was doing with not only my life but his life as well. I couldn't let this continue so I filed for divorced. (Believe me there were many other reasons I filed, just don’t wish to go into those areas). Then came Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne. They not only walloped Florida but took me for a spin too. House damage both times, 1st time insurance wouldn’t pay second time they wouldn’t pay either but I fought for over 6 months and finally got the insurance. Here I am fighting with a husband who wouldn’t leave my house, fighting for a divorce, fighting for insurance money, yet still trying to lose weight and I did. He finally left Feb 2005 and then 2 friends move into the house for a few weeks, more like 6 months. Their home was in horrible shape because of Frances and Jeanne and they couldn’t live in it and the FEMA trailer the insurance was paying for was taken away. They had no where to go - Amanda to the rescue. I was so lucky to have been able to not gain back all the weight I had lost. Oh well I have to forget about those 2 years and keep focused on this year 2006.
This year it is my turn to be rescued! With God’s help, my determination and the NS Weigh I am going to have a life again. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want to live again, to do the things I use to do. To be loved for who I am and not the size of my body. To be able to love that special someone ( whoever he may be) back and know it doesn’t matter if I am 200 or 400. I have to stay focused, stay motivated and stay on program. With the encouragement of all my friends from the NS and Jazzman support boards and my Happy and Healthy yahoo friends I know I can do this. Reading the posts and the blogs of NS and Jazzman friends (I have never met but hope to as we have quite a group of them in Palm Beach County)) who have lost 50 to 100 pounds in such short periods of time gives me so much encouragement. I am so excited for them because I know where they came from weight wise and know how I would feel if I was 100 pounds thinner. I know I am going to have that feeling and I see it coming to me before the end of the summer. So I look forward to your e-mails, and I’ll see you on the boards and in the chat rooms. Stay Happy and Healthy.
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